Response: The Myth of Mars and Venus

In the first chapter of her book "The Myth and why it matters," author Cameron called the "Mars and Venus" analogy as a myth, and discussed it in different angles.

She first discussed about how current literature treats the difference between men and women. Science books tend to go toward explaining the origin of the differences between men and women, and largely credited them to the natural differences between men and women. On the other hand, self-help books usually ignore it altogether. However, they both agree about how men and women are different. They also suggests the same solution: appreciate the differences and treat others with respect and tolerance. In another words, the solution tend to generalize two genders are "different but equal."

However, Cameron said, putting men and women in two separated spheres doesn't make them equal. In fact, it usually introduces inequality, especially when power comes in to play. I found a point made by Chan Yi mentioned in class very interesting. When wives are confined to taking care of the family, they might be economically dependent on the husbands, or they have less power than the husbands. Asking people who hold the power to be tolerance and respect to others might be too wishful.

Also, she credits the differences to the *nurture* aspect. The history has shaped our society to be a male-dominant society, in which men and women are expected to behave in a certain way. Failing to do so will result in being judged by the society. Because of that, they are also raised to fulfill their role. This insight suggests that we can also change men and women's characteristics when we change the way they are nurtured. The question is how much will it alleviate the differences if we change the nurturing part?

Another interesting point the author pointed out is human tendency to rely on generalization. At the first class, I also mentioned that this Mars and Venus analogy might just be a stereotypical look at the two gender. I think Cameron also agree that it applies to most of the people. However, it does not mean that we should discard all the outliers. Otherwise, we will be more prone to see only the things we expect to see. A point from the "Black swan" book by Nassim Taleb: the outliers can actually be the one that drives the history, make far greater impact on the society than the rest.

It is worth to note that Cameron actually does not refuse the differences between men and women. She also agree that the stereotype does apply to people in general, which is why many people can resonate themselves to it. I agree with the author that we must not fall into the stereotypical trap. However, for the time being, we must first be aware of the differences, and derives targeted support for specific gender. Sometimes it can be for the good of women, like how Deborah Tannen proposed a better approach to support women in classroom environment.