Brief: for final project / final essay, we have to write a research oriented paper (1500 words) about a (any) topic related to Men - Women Communication.
I'm really interested in the stereotyped view of men and women depicted in Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus." and want to study it further for my final essay. Particularly it's the idea that when facing a problem, men tend to keep it and try to solve it by themselves, while women will want to share it with friends. Moreover, men will ask others for advices when they're really stuck and need some helps / some advices. On the other hand, women always share their problems but at the same time they don't want solutions. They just want friends to listen to them, comfort them or validate their feelings. Of course any rule has exceptions; we're just consider what's true in general.
Actually I have thought about this topic the whole time. I have a handful of girl / female friends that I think the stereotype is not really applicable. They are just the opposite of what is written above (let's call it the myth). It makes me question the statement / the myth above. While at the same time, I wonder why men do not want to share their feelings (for example, because they are bound by social expectation of men -- that men must be, or at least, appear to be strong?). In fact, I myself feel the need of sharing sometimes, especially when it is stressful. Besides, while I'm curious about the reasons making men and women behave like so, Gray did not offer any scientific explanations for the stereotypes. All these reasons make me want to study the myth, and, if possible, debunk it to an extend, or, at least, explain why the myth is true.
But: I'm kind of stuck right now. So far I have talked with several friends. They seem to agree with the myth rather than question it. Even a (female) friend I mentioned above would say she's an exception. She articulate the whole thing so clearly that I guessed she was influenced by some of the popular readings, but she refuted it. (She said) It was based on her observations (as well).
So friends, what do you think (on this topic, on the questions I proposed, on.. the direction I should go if I follow this topic)? I need your thoughts on these problems. I appreciate your help.
are there any other books out there that sort of disprove Grey's view?
ReplyDeleteAnyway I have not read the book but I have a nagging feeling that Grey's observation are done in the context of a western society?
That's an interesting point. I actually was thinking about how it's true in the context of Eastern culture / Vietnamese culture. So far not much difference though.
ReplyDeleteThat makes me remember a point I was thinking about: it's not about gender but more about personality, extroversion and introversion.
well I think you can try to devise a little "experiment" in which you find a way to get data to support or reject the stereotype. Maybe you can think about it. Something simple.
ReplyDelete